Alone

Have you ever had to be alone? 

Or have you ever felt like you were alone even though you weren't.? 

Don't get me wrong I love my husband, he's loving and supportive. He pampers me and he protects me, and he's just wonderful. But sometimes a girl wants to talk to another girl or some one, to sound off on. I use to have that with my mother, I don't anymore. I also use to have it with my dad.yes believe it or not I could talk to my dad about anything, and was more comfortable talking to dad then mom cause he didn't judge as much or as harsh. Now I don't have either. 

Don't ge me wrong. I love my mother and I know my mother loves me. But because of her stroke, you can't tell her private stuff, cause she doesn't remember it's private and the information winds up in the wrong hands, and is miss used and is used against me. I have fallen pray to that one to many times. 

So who do you talk to when you don't have your mormal sounding board? When you don't have that support you once had?. 

It is a question that has led to many a long sleepless night. 

What is weird is I loved My grandparents on both sides VERY much, and was very close to the three I knew. but i NEVER dream of them.  However, since my fathers death i dream of him almost every other night. Which is good. To me.. It's good dreams. But sometimes I wake up and it makes it harder cause I realize it's just a dream and he is NOT coming back. :(. and I am alone. once again. 

have you ever had that one dream where it feels so real? and you wake up and the part of your body were you wacked it in your dream  hurts as well? that is how I dream almost everynight.. 

is that weird?